Never Ending Self Discovery

Style, I’m sure you have all heard that word used on a near daily bases, but how often has it been used in reference to you personally. If you’re an average Joe like me then you probably don’t hear people saying that you have a great style very often. Hope is not lost however my fellow Joe’s, like me you can change how you are perceived while still staying true to yourself with some simple tweaking of your wardrobe.

Now I know there are those of you out there who are thinking that fashion is stupid and that your wardrobe has had no need for an update since the nineties. I understand your skepticism; I use to be the same way for most of my life, I hated fashion. Thought it was a pointless waste of time and money. I honestly could not understand why people would hand out hundreds if not thousands of their hard earned salaries on impractical clothes that didn’t serve an immediate function. Throughout my university years I wore the same thing I did in high school. Blue jeans, T-shirts with quirky sayings or pictures of dragons on them (hey, it was a phase and I like dragons so sue me) and, of course, endless supply of sweatshirts for those frigid Nor Cal days. It was about mid-way through my fourth year that I realized that this just was not working for me any longer. Oh I was comfortable enough and I still liked my clothes but it came to my attention that people didn’t take me seriously. Now I am not an uptight serious person but I was tired of being treated as the comic relief to my group of friends and having anything I said or did that didn’t play into that role passed over for more amusing antics. I imagine that there is more than one person out there that has felt this way at some point in their life.

There is hope my fellow Joes, it’s not necessarily easy but it works.

The easiest way to change a how people perceive you is to change the presentation. People rely on vision primarily to interact with their environment. Now I don’t believe myself to be a shallow person, and I firmly believe that a beautiful personality is far more important than a beautiful body. That being said I am much more likely to approach a woman I find attractive than someone that is less so. The same is true for women; you are far more likely to get their attention if you put some effort into your appearance, especially your wardrobe. This philosophy doesn’t just apply to the dating scene but to just about every aspect of your life where you have to interact with other human beings. Potential employers are going to hire the person that looks professional; people are far more likely to listen to what you have to say if you look like you are educated. Heck even your friends and family will take you more seriously with the proper attire. As the saying goes first impressions are everything, but that impression is made not when you actually meet someone but when they first lay eyes on you. BAM! You’ve just been judged. It’s unfair, it’s superficial, but it’s reality.

That ends the berating portion of this article now on to the meat and potatoes so to speak. It is not too late to change how you present yourself to the world, never is never will be. While it’s never too late this does not mean that it is easy by any stretch of the imagination. It took me well over a year of study and experimentation to find a look that fit all of my criteria. It’s comfortable, multifunctional, and stylish and the best part is that it didn’t suck my bank account dry. You don’t need a six figure salary to look like a million bucks. Here are a few tips that have worked for me in my personal quest for a fashionable identity.
Research:

That’s right there is a homework assignment for this lesson. Good research opens multiple avenues of discovery for you, possibly ones you would never have even considered before. Try looking at some fashion blogs like www.theurbangent.com  which boasts a host of information pertaining to the latest trends in fashion, grooming and celebrity fashion. Another good place to look is at Hollywood. Take a look at the personal wardrobe of your favorite celebrities, but don’t copy them. This is about finding inspiration for your own personal style not copying someone else’s. It would also be beneficial for you to subscribe to a men’s fashion journal. I have found that GQ is one of the better sources up to date men’s fashion and it only costs about five bucks to buy individually and even less when you subscribe for a full year. It doesn’t hurt that it just a fun magazine to read in general either. Now while you want to know what is trendy you don’t want to fallow a fad. Fashion like technology moves quickly, what is “in” now is not likely to be next year, or even next week. The best bet is to find a look that has been designated “classic” and make it work for your own personality.

Reflect:

What I mean is self-reflection. What makes you, well you. Take a good look at your life, your goals, your likes and dislikes and ask yourself how you can express these things in your wardrobe. If you’re passionate about something then it should be reflected in your appearance. Take me for example, I am a rather artsy person who enjoys being comfortable and looking sophisticated while still retaining a sense of practicality. So I wear comfortable workmen’s boots, loose fitting dark blue jeans, usually with a thermal T-shirt depending on the weather. The whole thing is very coffee house chic which I find ironic since I don’t actually drink coffee. That is the basic foundation for my day to day attire. It has a great deal of versatility to it, is incredibly comfortable and with some minor tweaks can function in a variety of social environments. More than anything though, these clothes make me feel comfortable not just physically but mentally, I look more confident and that makes me feel more confident.

The second reflection you should make is on your own body. This can be a real challenge for most people because we tend to focus entirely on the negative aspects of ourselves; however that is not the purpose of this reflection. Right now I want you to focus on only the things that you do like about yourself. Identifying your positive traits will give you an idea about what kind of clothes you will want to buy, not to mention giving you a good boost of confidence to go with your new wardrobe.

           Now this does not mean that you should ignore your flaws, because they help distinguish you from the masses more so than your aesthetic traits. However it’s not always a good idea to rely solely on your own desecration. People are notoriously bad at critiquing themselves, they are either blind to their own flaws or they see nothing but flaws that aren’t really there. It’s a good idea to find a trusted friend that will give you honest but not harsh criticism. It’s important to not take their comments as personal attacks but simply areas that you might need to improve on. Me for example, I am very out of shape and physically weak. When I was told this I didn’t get upset, simply because that doesn’t help anything, instead I asked my friend to help get me in shape, and started improving my diet. Another fun trick is to turn your imperfections into a positive quirk, scars are good for this.

Shop:

Now that you have an idea of how you want your style to change it's time to implement those changes. Your first stop should be one of the nicer department stores like Nordstrom’s or Bloomingdale, not to buy but to get a firsthand look at what’s available and what actually looks good on you. This first venture should not be made alone however; as with your self-reflection it’s good to have a friend whose opinion you trust and who won’t pander to your ego. You need someone that is going to tell you the honest truth about how something makes you look otherwise you’re not really accomplishing anything with this. They can also provide you with an alternative point of view when it comes to matching up an outfit and what colors make you look more respectable. Colors are very important in fashion because people will respond to different colors in different way. It may be beneficial to take a painting class to learn more about color effects and what colors go well with one another. You will also want to pay attention to the pros and cons of the type of fabric your chosen garments are made from. Synthetic fibers are less glamorous and won’t last as long but are much cheaper to buy and maintain, while organic fibers like Cotton or silk are much more expensive and usually have to be specially cleaned so that they do not deteriorate. Always pay attention to the cleaning directions on the tag if you want to keep your clothes for more than a few months.

 After you have an idea of what looks good on you, choose your absolute favorites that fit your budget and purchase those. These will be the foundation of your wardrobe, but they are going to be expensive so you’ll want to limit your selection to only a few. By buying items infrequently from these stores you will be able to own some top of the line items while maintaining your bank account. And don’t feel that you have to wear your more expensive purchases exclusively with others like it. Experiment with different combinations of items, the items that make up a suit can be taken apart and used in less formal settings and a more casual shirt can be combined with a nice over coat for a night on the town.   With the purchase of your foundation apparel you can finish up your wardrobe with items from less expensive stores. Rue21 or Forever 21 has several trendy clothing lines that resemble the higher end brands.  These aren’t cheap knock offs, but simply a more affordable alternative to buying name brands. TJ Max and Ross are also great places to look for savings, especially considering that you can find many of the high end items in these stores for a fraction of the price. I recently purchased a tie from Trump's line that was originally $75.99; I only paid $9.99 for it. Not too bad if I do say so myself. Unfortunately if you are looking to buy a sports coat or suit of any quality you are probably going to have to fork over a couple hundred, but this is not something that you want to cut corners on. See above comments on getting a classic, well fitted suit.
The quest for recognition in the modern social jungle has never been fiercer than it is right now, and being fashion conscious is one of the greatest tools in your arsenal to get ahead in life. Learn from your own mistakes and triumphs but also from those that have gone before you.  Change is a necessity of success, because the world is changing around you. Technology is getting faster and styles are constantly changing. However these changes are actually a good thing for you. They offer near limitless opportunities to reinvent yourself, or maybe just to improve on what’s already there. Welcome to reality, dress accordingly.